This is being reprinted by permission of the Author, Dennis Tausendschoen (Mr. T) of MD (and is copywrited by said same person). It had me rolling in the isles when I first read it.

You Know you've been Sweepstaking Too long if....

• You refer to your bedroom as Apt. B.

• You are sure that Santa Comes in a big brown truck.

• You try to get into your house with an OEB.

• Your favorite cartoon character is Affie Duck.

• You are in a Drug Store and ask for a box of Fedex.

• You know the mailman's license and VIN number by heart.

• You don't trust the mailman or UPS.

• Your lipstick tastes like stamp glue.

• Your stamp glue tastes like lipstick.

• You know how many calories there are in stamp glue.

• You burn incense in your mailbox.

• Things that are sort of fuzzy, appear to you in a Blair (blur).

• You ask the National Judging Agency about a parking ticket.

• Your dinners depend on what comes in SMPs.

• Your lucky number is 68009.

• You have 99 ways to print your NAZ.

• You know what Michigan, South Carolina, Texas, Maryland, Indiana, California, & Tennessee all have in common.

• You make your children practice penmanship on 3x5 cards.

• Your envelopes are more attractive than your Christmas Cards.

• Your dogs have names like Sweeps, Affie & Winner.

• Your mailbox is bigger than your garage.

• Your fingers are sore from 800 numbers.

• Your favorite musical instrument is the drum.

• Your Favorite British actor is Marden Kane.

• A store clerk asks your size, and you reply, "3x5!".

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This page was last updated on.....06/07/1999 Eastern